Not again.
I can't do this again.
I walked away because I can't do this. People die when I think I can help and I can't.
Alandras never--. Alandras was a nightmare in his own way. Literally and figuratively. And that was enough to break me.
But he never actually forced me to do anything.
He probably would have buried me in guilt if I did nothing, but-... I had a choice. I had control of my actions, which, even if I wanted needed more help at least I wasn't a puppet. A tool. وعاء.
I can't do this again.
I get that-... I get that bringing someone back is a... good. thing. I do. I get that. But. I'd already fucked up enough times before: seeing my friends fall and not being able to do fuck-all to help them. And then this-... And then I get that unbearable second-chance when I should have gone down and I can actually help at least one of my friends stay standing and... I literally get forced to run the opposite direction. To help bring someone back to life -- which I've never done before -- who 1. I don't know and 2. may be trying to kill us. They weren't, in the end, but if Bodaway had been hit one more time before I could get to him because I was being forced to help someone else...
Osrin, you fucking idiot, you knew better. You stopped trying to be a hero a long time ago because you can't do it. And, yet, you still said yes the first time you got another chance.
Just walking away isn't going to work this time. The payout won't just be a pair of ratty wings.
When my friends die and I can't bring them back (or if I am forced to and bringing them back just, inevitably, fucks them up worse), that'll be on me. Again.